I have a funny habit. While on vacation or just a pretty day at the beach I have collected shells for years. When our lives changed and Daisy got sick those days were few and far between, becoming a sprinkling of beauty in a life that had become one filled with hospitals, pain, fear. I decided to put those tiny tokens of natural beauty in places that would both give me pleasure to look at them and remind me the future won’t always be flavored bitterly. I leave them in purses, pockets, drawers, my car; always waiting for me to discover them, waiting to whisper of beauty to come.
A couple of days ago I came across one of my secret treasure chests in a bag containing chapstick and sunscreen. I had spent a sunny day with great friends, hiking, swimming, holding a precious newborn.  With my  handful of shells such a display of simple pleasure, I was so thankful to have spent an entire day full of simple pleasure. Life is so different now,the days flavored with a different type of bitter, yet peppered with a different type of beauty. The beauty of anticipation.

My daughter lives, not here with me but in a different country. One containing loveliness unimaginable. Like my shells whisper of sweet days spent in the sun, my home whispers of sweet days spent with my sunshine. Her drawings are everywhere, hilarious ones all over her schoolwork, adding mustaches and buzzing flies to the characters teaching her phonics. Some have anchor tattoos, others clever sayings in bubbles extended from their little cartoon heads.  Her secret placement of plastic mice in nooks, waiting to frighten someone. Her tiny leopard print leggings folded on the dryer, her toothbrush in the cup.  Her artful arrangement of painted pinecones, the barn she made out of a cardboard box with happy ponies sticking fuzzy heads through the window, and her Teddy bear tucked safely into my bed.  I leave these tokens of sweet times to remind me it won’t always be this way. I won’t always be without her, and my days won’t always be shrouded with a sense of sorrow and longing.   There is more joy and laughter with her to come. So I continue to keep tangible reminders, little sneak peeks into our glorious future and reunion. They remind me of truth, and encourage me to live and love.

-Kate

I have a funny habit. While on vacation or just a pretty day at the beach I have collected shells for years. When our lives changed and Daisy got sick those days were few and far between, becoming a sprinkling of beauty in a life that had become one filled with hospitals, pain, fear. I decided to put those tiny tokens of natural beauty in places that would both give me pleasure to look at them and remind me the future won’t always be flavored bitterly. I leave them in purses, pockets, drawers, my car; always waiting for me to discover them, waiting to whisper of beauty to come.

A couple of days ago I came across one of my secret treasure chests in a bag containing chapstick and sunscreen. I had spent a sunny day with great friends, hiking, swimming, holding a precious newborn.  With my  handful of shells such a display of simple pleasure, I was so thankful to have spent an entire day full of simple pleasure. Life is so different now,the days flavored with a different type of bitter, yet peppered with a different type of beauty. The beauty of anticipation.

My daughter lives, not here with me but in a different country. One containing loveliness unimaginable. Like my shells whisper of sweet days spent in the sun, my home whispers of sweet days spent with my sunshine. Her drawings are everywhere, hilarious ones all over her schoolwork, adding mustaches and buzzing flies to the characters teaching her phonics. Some have anchor tattoos, others clever sayings in bubbles extended from their little cartoon heads.  Her secret placement of plastic mice in nooks, waiting to frighten someone. Her tiny leopard print leggings folded on the dryer, her toothbrush in the cup.  Her artful arrangement of painted pinecones, the barn she made out of a cardboard box with happy ponies sticking fuzzy heads through the window, and her Teddy bear tucked safely into my bed.  I leave these tokens of sweet times to remind me it won’t always be this way. I won’t always be without her, and my days won’t always be shrouded with a sense of sorrow and longing.   There is more joy and laughter with her to come. So I continue to keep tangible reminders, little sneak peeks into our glorious future and reunion. They remind me of truth, and encourage me to live and love.

-Kate

If you weren’t able to attend the memorial, click the link above to watch the video and celebrate the strong, kind, brave, goofy, thoughtful, amazing girl we call Daisy Love. 

Daisy’s Memorial Webcast in about 20 minutes

The webcast will be live in about 20 minutes at 3pm PST. Watch at prayfordaisy.com

We’ll also be recording the memorial and will post the video on the blog as soon as we are able.

Daisy’s Memorial Webcast

Date: Saturday, February 23

Time: 3 pm PST

Webcast: If you can’t make it tomorrow, we’d like to invite you to watch the webcast. Daisy had many friends and supporters around the world for which we are so thankful. In order to honor these relationships we will be streaming her memorial live.

Tune in at prayfordaisy.com

Daisy’s Memorial Info
 
Date: Saturday, February 23
Place: Reality Santa Barbara (At the Santa Barbara City College Sports Pavilion)
Time: 3 pm PST
Attire: See words below from Kate
Webcast: Daisy had many friends and supporters around the world for which we are so thankful. In order to honor these relationships we will be streaming her memorial live. Tune in at prayfordaisy.com to watch it.  
  
A few words from Kate:
 
Dear Friends…
Early Saturday morning we had the privilege of witnessing Daisy’s departure from earth to a place outside of time and space where her joy is complete; heaven.
Our darling girl gave us kisses at midnight, with lips dry from thirst and hot with fever.  Tiny and sweet, the words “that’s awesome” came from her tired body after letting us know she was having good dreams. She is safely home… Finally well.
I have refrained from giving details of her suffering over the last few weeks, as it was immense.  Out of respect for her dignity and loveliness we have been keeping these painful moments sacred.
Thank you for your partnership in loving our girl. Please know we are broken hearted for ourselves but so happy for Daisy, who is with Jesus in paradise able to run and eat and play with abandon. We believe that wholeheartedly, and as they say in Narnia, she is going further up! And further in!  She left the Shadowlands for a place more real in every sense.
Please join us as we celebrate the strong, kind, brave, goofy, thoughtful, amazing girl we call Daisy Love. Please wear what you feel best in; sandy feet and boardshorts, tutu and snorkel mask, or the prettiest dress in your closet. Wear black only if you must, but I’m wearing what Daisy would like most.  On her last night on earth, she requested we watch “The Hobbit” (70’s version) and dress like hobbits.  If ever there was a girl confident in her own skin, it was her.  Among her favorite ensembles are animal ears of all kinds, astronaut, flightsuit, monster, pirate, dinosaur, Indian, mermaid, bear, cowgirl, fireman and explorer.
Feel free to laugh and cry and hug. There is no single way to grieve. And while we miss her on earth, we will pick up where we left off when I have the privilege of going to where she is, in the presence of God where there is fullness of joy.
My final request to all who read this blog: love. Love your babies, your husbands, mothers, sisters. Love each day like it’s your last. All you mamas out there, you have been entrusted with the precious gift of a human life who depends on you. Enjoy your gift. Breathe in the scent of your child’s hair, breath. Let them cook with you and make a mess of the kitchen. Play hide and seek with them, build sand castles with them, take them on picnics, read to them!  Listen to them, value and respect them, never shame them.  Your words they will carry with them their whole life and you have the power to give them wings or stunt their growth. Motherhood can be tough but it’s worth it. It can be exhausting, boring, tedious, but never for long. You blink and they’re grown. It has been my honor and privilege to love Daisy these last 8 years. I’m thankful for every minute; the joyful and the terrible alike.
“I know The Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety. For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your holy one to rot in the grave. You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever." (Psalm 16:8-11 NLT)

Daisy’s Memorial Info

 

Date: Saturday, February 23

PlaceReality Santa Barbara (At the Santa Barbara City College Sports Pavilion)

Time: 3 pm PST

Attire: See words below from Kate

Webcast: Daisy had many friends and supporters around the world for which we are so thankful. In order to honor these relationships we will be streaming her memorial live. Tune in at prayfordaisy.com to watch it.  

  

A few words from Kate:

 

Dear Friends…

Early Saturday morning we had the privilege of witnessing Daisy’s departure from earth to a place outside of time and space where her joy is complete; heaven.

Our darling girl gave us kisses at midnight, with lips dry from thirst and hot with fever.  Tiny and sweet, the words “that’s awesome” came from her tired body after letting us know she was having good dreams. She is safely home… Finally well.

I have refrained from giving details of her suffering over the last few weeks, as it was immense.  Out of respect for her dignity and loveliness we have been keeping these painful moments sacred.

Thank you for your partnership in loving our girl. Please know we are broken hearted for ourselves but so happy for Daisy, who is with Jesus in paradise able to run and eat and play with abandon. We believe that wholeheartedly, and as they say in Narnia, she is going further up! And further in!  She left the Shadowlands for a place more real in every sense.

Please join us as we celebrate the strong, kind, brave, goofy, thoughtful, amazing girl we call Daisy Love. Please wear what you feel best in; sandy feet and boardshorts, tutu and snorkel mask, or the prettiest dress in your closet. Wear black only if you must, but I’m wearing what Daisy would like most.  On her last night on earth, she requested we watch “The Hobbit” (70’s version) and dress like hobbits.  If ever there was a girl confident in her own skin, it was her.  Among her favorite ensembles are animal ears of all kinds, astronaut, flightsuit, monster, pirate, dinosaur, Indian, mermaid, bear, cowgirl, fireman and explorer.

Feel free to laugh and cry and hug. There is no single way to grieve. And while we miss her on earth, we will pick up where we left off when I have the privilege of going to where she is, in the presence of God where there is fullness of joy.

My final request to all who read this blog: love. Love your babies, your husbands, mothers, sisters. Love each day like it’s your last. All you mamas out there, you have been entrusted with the precious gift of a human life who depends on you. Enjoy your gift. Breathe in the scent of your child’s hair, breath. Let them cook with you and make a mess of the kitchen. Play hide and seek with them, build sand castles with them, take them on picnics, read to them!  Listen to them, value and respect them, never shame them.  Your words they will carry with them their whole life and you have the power to give them wings or stunt their growth. Motherhood can be tough but it’s worth it. It can be exhausting, boring, tedious, but never for long. You blink and they’re grown. It has been my honor and privilege to love Daisy these last 8 years. I’m thankful for every minute; the joyful and the terrible alike.

I know The Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety. For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your holy one to rot in the grave. You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever." (Psalm 16:8-11 NLT)

At 2:40am this morning our sweet Daisy went to be with Jesus. She was sleeping and in no pain. Christ is with us as the God of all comfort. We are thankful.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26)

Daisy believed this and so do we. More than ever.

Love,
The Merricks

(At this time funeral plans are still forthcoming. Please check back this week for more info and details.)

When Sparrows Fall 

Matthew 10:28-31

10 months ago, 3 days before Easter, my 8-year-old daughter Daisy Love was diagnosed with cancer for the 3rd time.

6 weeks ago she was diagnosed for a 4th time… now with 2 inoperable tumors. Since then we have spent 35 days in the hospital and she has had another round of chemo

In total it has been 3 years and 4 months that we have been fighting cancer with Daisy (almost 30 rounds of chemo—6 major surgeries).

The last 10 months have been the most difficult time of our lives… so much has happened AND we have experienced so much of God’s presence and grace. 

Oh friends, I don’t know what to say… Updating has seemed a task daunting and impossible as our girl lay in her bed at Cottage intermittently crying out in pain, sleeping, and dreamily remarking about the shadows of the birds on the wall.

January 13th marked one month in the hospital.  She received two weeks of chemo within a couple of days of going in with abdominal pain and finding two new tumors. She came home for three nights after that and went back in with severe dehydration. The chemo had a much more radical effect on her showing how fragile she really is. We are awaiting her guts to heal and her body to retain nourishment. Needless to say we are devastated. We had hoped our journey across the world would have cured our baby but it is not so.

We are discussing a few options with our doctor, none of which we can make a decision on until we peek inside Daisy’s belly again to see how it responded. Until then we wait and pray and hope. And as our hearts are ripped out and our very insides sear with pain, the principles of life haven’t changed. Parenthood, no, being human, is still an opportunity to love. Every time I rub Daisy’s swollen feet, cool her burning once again bald head, every time I listen to her speak tiny words in the dark of the night or wash more soiled bedclothes, my opportunity remains. To love. This month is not a month I expected, not a month I wish upon any mama… Yet my opportunities to love her abound, and it’s my pleasure to serve her in all the deep pain. I don’t know what the future brings. Today we were able to leave the hospital and continue her care at home, but we need a miracle, more than ever before. While we yet remain, we choose to enjoy our girl because she is incredibly enjoyable. 

Please pray for us as we make agonizing decisions never intended for parents to make. Pray for a miracle. Pray for relief of our girl’s physical pain.  And pray for stamina for the rest of us to go forward in strength and courage. 

Daisy is as courageous as ever, full of grace and maturity as she voices her needs without ever whining or being rude. She once again is saving her downy hair for the birds by our house, hoping as they have spring babies they can enjoy her softness. 

One last thought, as a parent and as a human being; opportunities to love surround us. When we take those opportunities time seems to stop, and in that timelessness is where memories are made and beauty is beheld.  We will never regret rising to the occasion.  I believe it has something to do with the fact that God is love and we are made in His image. Suffering isn’t what we are made for, but it can be fruitful in ways we could never imagine. 

We love because He first loved us. 

I appreciate the ways so many of you have loved and served us through the shadows, prayer, dinner, financial help for treatments, letters, teddy bears. You have helped ease our suffering in many ways. 

Love, Kate

Difficult day

Today is a difficult day for Daisy… with large tumors in her abdomen and trying to recover from two weeks of chemotherapy, her body is struggling. She is extremely fragile and weak.

We need to seek God on her behalf today. Some of Daisy’s prayer warriors are fasting and praying for 24 hours starting anytime today. As the Lord leads you, we’d love for you to join.

Love,

Tyler Morgan
Executive Director
The Daisy Merrick Trust

Psalm 62:8 “O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.” (NLT)

Chemo yet again…

Daisy starts chemo at 2pm PST today. Pray the chemo works really well and really quickly. Also, Daisy is in quite a bit of pain. Please pray for immediate and continual relief.


Tyler Morgan
Executive Director
The Daisy Merrick Trust