Kate here. Some stuff has happened since the last post, some sweet answers to prayer, some spiritual growth, some heartache, some elation…. Okay, so, Daisy’s appointment went great. Our prayers were answered! Her ANC went up sufficiently and all her other counts looked good too. She took it like a rock star, and I’m so proud of her. So that means we only have 4 treatments to go!!! Woo hoo!!!!!!
Last Tuesday she had an ultrasound and chest x-ray scheduled. It’s standard protocol in her treatment to check for nodes on her lungs and other masses or pockets of weirdness in her body at this time. Nonetheless, I was nervous going in. I prayed that morning, “Lord, give me the strength to praise You no matter the outcome. Increase my faith to be able to deal with whatever the results are.” Even after the initial diagnosis, the radical surgery, the nights of pain and crying, watching my baby writhe in agony regardless of the morphine and epidural, I still need God’s strength to make it every step. Even through a routine thing like this. I know that our minds play a huge part in how we deal with things. Charles Swindoll says “I’m convinced that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it. Attitude is everything”. I purpose to have an attitude of thanksgiving, of reliance on my Maker. I can’t change anything, but He can carry me through. He deserves my gratitude. Philippians 4:8 has been such a sweetly rebuking and directing passage for me. ”And now, brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” So, with prayer and thanksgiving, I set my mind on things lovely, things worthy of praise, things that are true. Try it sometime, you will receive the peace which surpasses all understanding.
Back to the deets: Daisy has no problem with these things (scans, x-rays, etc.) except the part about fasting breakfast so they can have a clear picture. She was up the night before mourning the loss of her would-be future breakfast. Like mother, like daughter…. There was a beautiful bowl of fruit in the imaging office and Daisy wanted to know if she could get one “to go”. She was so precious in the x-ray room, they put one of those lead “skirts” around her waist to protect her organs. She looked so tiny and precious with her giant beanie, lead skirt, and skinny legs so sweetly cooperating with the procedure. When they took it, I tried not to look at the picture of the lungs. What if I saw something! I was stuck between wanting to look, but at the same time hoping that if I don’t look it would make it go away. Crazy, but I know you’ve all been there.
The ultrasound was worse. It looks like chewed up gum in a nest of seaweed swimming in ink, am I right? The technician was a sweet woman with a beautiful accent (she sounded Dutch). She would focus in on blobs and take pictures. There were several black spots, then she added a heat-sensing color to it and took more pictures. The only thing I recognized was her sole beautiful kidney. I tried not to look, but caught myself sneaking glances. Daisy was adorable as usual, and we walked out with a shiny green apple.
The doctor didn’t call me that day, nor the next. Wednesday night starting at 10pm, Daisy was up, doubled over in pain and crying. She was experiencing severe stomach pain and it lasted all night. We prayed over her and I tickled her back until 3am, then needing a break switched with Britt. Stomach pain is not on the list for “immediate” call in to the pediatric oncologist, but by 6:45am I called anyway. He said bring her in. She started to throw up about 10 minutes later and consistently threw up for the next 3 or so hours. We put in the call to pray with several friends, then at about 11am, she was up! She was ready for food, ready to play, and it was as if it never happened! We called the doctor, and they concluded it was just a stomach bug that’s going around. As the conversation was winding down, I got the nerve up to ask about her imaging results. I was put on hold for what seemed like eternity (probably 30 seconds) and spoke with a doctor. They came up clear!!!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Phew!
That was our week. I’m pooped! So eventful, so thankful. I have heard from so many of you who are going through similar trials. This is why I give so many details, so much of what’s going on inside my head, things I’ve learned. I pray that any of it can be of encouragement to you, to hopefully help you deal with hardship. I pray for you to have the strength to praise our Lord Jesus, regardless of circumstances. He gives and takes away, but we choose to say blessed be His Name. Be encouraged.
Hebrews 11:27 He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the One who is invisible.